When I became a mom, my world revolved around my child. I was too amazed to see my daughter, I cannot even believe she came from my womb. She was the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen. But that was also the time I started to develop some panic attacks every time something happened to my baby. Even a little thing would mean so much to me. I never imagined I could love a person so much that it bled. 7 years later I became a mommy again to my youngest daughter. Prior to her birth, I worried too much if I might not love her a much as I love my 1st child and at the same time, I worried that I might love my youngest more than my first-born or I might play favoritism on them.
So as not to surprise my eldest daughter, I told her from the start that she would be a big sister soon. And that no matter what happens, I will always love her. I told her that if I tend to give more attention on her baby sister, that doesn’t mean I love her less. It’s just that the baby cannot express yet and so helpless that she should be given attention. Thankfully my eldest understood. I guess it helped a lot if you prepare your child and let her involve in preparation for your pregnancy. And when my second child was finally born, I’ve realized that I could still love my eldest daughter 100% and love my second princess 100%. It really is possible to love 2 people at the same at the same level. Favoritism was not in my dictionary. I worry the same for both my kids and I care for the both of them. I know I am not a perfect mother and I know that I am quite strict because I wanted to instill discipline to my children so both of them were really disciplined equally.
I worried every time they were sick, I got angry to them if they misbehave but I also tell them that I love them and they’re both important to me.
I am sharing this to let others know that favoritism should not be practiced and that we, parents, should treat our children fairly. Although I’m pretty sure our kids differ in personalities, which is quite challenging, just let them know that they are important no matter how angry or disappointed you are with their misbehavior.
I admit I am no saint. My eldest child usually gets the scolding because she’s already big, can comprehend and I get so annoyed if she misbehaves. But after all the scolding and spanking, I talk to her so that she will get the point. Even when I am still angry, I let her know that I love her and she will always be my 1st born. My youngest is still in preschool and quite socially delayed. But she also got scolded if her misbehaved. But my approach is quite different from the eldest because I need to understand that she’s not like her big sister. But I also let her know how much I love her and hope her young mind could grasp that already.
Thankfully my eldest child is not the jealous type. But I don’t let her feel that way, too. I’m always trying to be fair to both of them. Because both of them are precious to me, they came from me, they were heaven-sent from above. Of course I’ve to acknowledge my husband because without him, I wouldn’t be blessed with these 2 beautiful angels I call my children.